On the eve of the eve of the eve of Draft Night, here are some quick tips for NBA front office members (excluding Donald Sterling who can't possibly mess this one up)
.
DO
- Respect Blake Griffin. He’s better than Michael Beasley and is going to be a Ron Burgundy-like Big Deal in L.A.
- Draft Big East Players. There is a reason the Big East ruled the land this year. Hasheem Thabeet, DeJuan Blair, and Johnny Flynn headline a stellar class of proven winners.
- Look for a young combo guard. The sky is the limit for young combo guards such as Tyreke Evans, Jrue Holiday, and Stephen Curry
- Steal Tyler Hansbrough. He was compared to Mark Madsen the other day. Something tells me he is going to go far beyond that comparison.
DON’T
- Draft Ricky Rubio. Especially with the number 2 pick. There are a handful of PG’s with better resumes. And besides their resumes which would only really help in a business setting, they’re better ballers too.
- Draft European players in general. The craze is over. You don’t have to do it to fit in.
- Pick up your cell phone if someone related to the Knicks is calling. It’s instant bad karma.
- Screw this up Minnesota and Oklahoma City. With three and two picks respectively in the first round to help build around a young core of stars, this is your chance to take your team from the rags to riches.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Bach Talks Business???
Tomorrow, I embark for my maiden voyage into the unknown by interning at the Meadowlands. I plan to be the Christopher Columbus of New Jersey sports, venturing into the future with a fearless and businessman approach, much like a one man wolf pack. However, in reality, being in the business of sports isn’t about business for me this summer. It’s about being athletic. I’m going to need to use all of my god given athleticism to be the best intern at retrieving papers from the copier or getting to that fresh pot of coffee for my boss. If I can’t do that, then I might as well forget any chance of making it at the Meadowlands, whether its in an office or on a field. As I turn towards a future of catering to sports executives, I would like to take a chance to salute some of the best owners/GM’s that I wouldn’t mind making a Dunkin Donuts run for, while pointing and laughing at some that I might be as qualified as.
Real Men of Genius
Jerry West- The man’s body provides the outline for the NBA logo. That right there is enough for me. Not to mention, he was a stud player, an even better general manager, and is considered one of the best talent evaluators in the league today. Under his quiet reign, the Lakers assembled dream teams and cruised to 7 NBA Finals victories. He then took his show on the road to Memphis, where he reawakened the sleeping Grizzlies during his short tenure. He left the Grizzlies as a potential 50 win team and has watched them slowly decline to mediocrity/embarrassment following his departure. “Mr. Clutch” is no Chauncey Billups. Jerry West rightfully earned his nickname, where as Mr. Billups is hoping fans didn’t notice his late game disappearing act in the Western Conference playoffs this season.
Mark Cuban- He may be a little
rough around the edges and arguably the most fiery owner in the NBA, but you can’t hate the Cubes. Unless you’re Kenyon Martin or his mother, then I’ll let you pass go and collect 200 dollars on that one. Cuban is an eccentric and exciting businessman, one that commands attention rather than hanging behind the scenes like a Jerry West type. Either way, Cuban has changed the sports culture in Dallas, leading them from depressive states to excellence, including playoff appearances every year since buying the franchise. The players and fans enjoy the best facilities, while their on court product is always entertaining and fast paced. While this hasn’t translated into championships yet for the Mavericks, Cuban has brought a winning culture and fun loving optimism that has been a shot in the arm for Dallas. Take out the Jason Kidd debacle and the man has done pretty damn well for himself.
Robert Kraft- Living in the Tristate Area, I am exposed to an inappropriate amount of Boston hate each day that I wake up. But, no matter how much negativity I encounter regarding the Red Sawks and Pats, I can’t have anything but love for Robert Kraft. The owner of the Patriots and New England Revolution has led his Patriots to the playoffs ten times since 1994 and has won three championships. Why? Because Kraft lures superstars to play in Boston and then keeps them there while keeping enough talent around to ensure constant success. For example, Tom Brady and Randy Moss will headline once again this season, but the additions of under the radar veterans like Fred Taylor and Joey Galloway will only solidify the Pats hopes to win titles NOW. Since buying the Patriots as 175 million dollars, the franchise’s value has increased to approximately seven times as much. Wow.
The Steinbrenners- While Kraft might be one of the most hated men in New York, the Steinbrenners are Boston’s version of herpes. You hate them so much, but they’re just something you can’t get rid of. Playing in New York with a new state of the art stadium, the beer will continue to flow like wine. With no salary cap in place in the MLB, the sky is the limit for their already loaded franchise. As an opposing fan, its hard to not hate them. But, if you bleed Yankee Blue, then you can’t ask for much more. Their franchise runs like a well oiled machine and is the class of Major League Baseball. 18 playoff appearances and six titles under Steinbrenner’s reign shows a commitment to excellence. However, if the Yankees can’t put another notch in their belt in the near future, something might start to hit the fan in NYC.
Real Men of Weakness
Donald Sterling- His name is synonymous with suck. The Clippers, and Sterling for that matter, are the poster boys for what a franchise aims not to be. Did I call them poster boys? They’re also whipping boys, thanks to super-suck owner Donald Sterling. He is unwilling to shell out cash..hmm ever. He finally did this season, but it was to purchase an aging Baron Davis, while losing Corey Magette and Elton Brand. The Clippers have only two winning seasons since Sterling took control and have won approximately 34 percent of their games under the Don. Enter Blake Griffin to right the ship that has had a hole in it for the last 25 years. Say a prayer, if not for the Clippers at least for Griffin’s sake.
Al Davis- You can’t be serious Al.
Darrius Heyward-Bey was supposed to be a top ten receiver in the draft, not a top ten draft pick. Instead Al used the seventh pick in the draft to pick an unproven and unpolished wide out that will almost certainly not contribute immediately. Here is yet another example of Davis’ obsession with speed and 40 times. There are rumors around Oakland that Al is in negotiations with Mine That Bird to join his receiving corps. When a man makes twenty one playoff appearances and wins three titles, how could you possibly bad mouth him? Well, Al just makes it all too easy. He’s older than dirt and the game has simply evolved and passed him by like Al Pacino in “Any Given Sunday” X 1000. His ego is threw the roof, which results in firing coach after coach before they can even get to know their players. I must say though. Kudos on the Lane Kiffin situation. Not only did you hire one of the worst coaches I’ve ever seen in the NFL (remember Kiffin giving the call for Sebastian Janikowski to attempt a 76 yard field goal, LOL), you took half the season deciding whether he was fired through press conference. It’s time to shut it down Al. You don’t belong in a press box calling the shots. You belong in a retirement home.
Tom Hicks- Alex Rodriguez was once a young, fun loving, steroid using (errr, I mean naïve) ballplayer. He had good reason to be. Tom Hicks paid him 252 million dollars for being able to swing a bat. Among his other smiling teammates were Chan Ho Park and Rusty Greer, guys that could buy a G-5 with all the undeserving cash Hicks threw their way a few short years ago. While most of the overpaid players faded into oblivion, A-Wad can’t hide anywhere. Neither can Hicks for paying him all that money and then trading him for virtually nothing. While the Rangers are finally performing this season, they will inevitably melt down most likely due to their perennial lack of pitching. Texas hasn’t made the playoffs in nine seasons and if history serves, they won’t this year. However, by some stroke of luck, Hicks has assembled a solid contingent of young players.
Honorable Mentions: John Henry (Red Sox Owner), Stuart Sternberg (Rays Owner)
Dishonorable Mentions: James Dolan (Knicks Owner), Michael Jordan (Bobcats Owner), Peter Angelos (Orioles Owner)
Real Men of Genius
Jerry West- The man’s body provides the outline for the NBA logo. That right there is enough for me. Not to mention, he was a stud player, an even better general manager, and is considered one of the best talent evaluators in the league today. Under his quiet reign, the Lakers assembled dream teams and cruised to 7 NBA Finals victories. He then took his show on the road to Memphis, where he reawakened the sleeping Grizzlies during his short tenure. He left the Grizzlies as a potential 50 win team and has watched them slowly decline to mediocrity/embarrassment following his departure. “Mr. Clutch” is no Chauncey Billups. Jerry West rightfully earned his nickname, where as Mr. Billups is hoping fans didn’t notice his late game disappearing act in the Western Conference playoffs this season.
Mark Cuban- He may be a little
rough around the edges and arguably the most fiery owner in the NBA, but you can’t hate the Cubes. Unless you’re Kenyon Martin or his mother, then I’ll let you pass go and collect 200 dollars on that one. Cuban is an eccentric and exciting businessman, one that commands attention rather than hanging behind the scenes like a Jerry West type. Either way, Cuban has changed the sports culture in Dallas, leading them from depressive states to excellence, including playoff appearances every year since buying the franchise. The players and fans enjoy the best facilities, while their on court product is always entertaining and fast paced. While this hasn’t translated into championships yet for the Mavericks, Cuban has brought a winning culture and fun loving optimism that has been a shot in the arm for Dallas. Take out the Jason Kidd debacle and the man has done pretty damn well for himself.Robert Kraft- Living in the Tristate Area, I am exposed to an inappropriate amount of Boston hate each day that I wake up. But, no matter how much negativity I encounter regarding the Red Sawks and Pats, I can’t have anything but love for Robert Kraft. The owner of the Patriots and New England Revolution has led his Patriots to the playoffs ten times since 1994 and has won three championships. Why? Because Kraft lures superstars to play in Boston and then keeps them there while keeping enough talent around to ensure constant success. For example, Tom Brady and Randy Moss will headline once again this season, but the additions of under the radar veterans like Fred Taylor and Joey Galloway will only solidify the Pats hopes to win titles NOW. Since buying the Patriots as 175 million dollars, the franchise’s value has increased to approximately seven times as much. Wow.
The Steinbrenners- While Kraft might be one of the most hated men in New York, the Steinbrenners are Boston’s version of herpes. You hate them so much, but they’re just something you can’t get rid of. Playing in New York with a new state of the art stadium, the beer will continue to flow like wine. With no salary cap in place in the MLB, the sky is the limit for their already loaded franchise. As an opposing fan, its hard to not hate them. But, if you bleed Yankee Blue, then you can’t ask for much more. Their franchise runs like a well oiled machine and is the class of Major League Baseball. 18 playoff appearances and six titles under Steinbrenner’s reign shows a commitment to excellence. However, if the Yankees can’t put another notch in their belt in the near future, something might start to hit the fan in NYC.
Real Men of Weakness
Donald Sterling- His name is synonymous with suck. The Clippers, and Sterling for that matter, are the poster boys for what a franchise aims not to be. Did I call them poster boys? They’re also whipping boys, thanks to super-suck owner Donald Sterling. He is unwilling to shell out cash..hmm ever. He finally did this season, but it was to purchase an aging Baron Davis, while losing Corey Magette and Elton Brand. The Clippers have only two winning seasons since Sterling took control and have won approximately 34 percent of their games under the Don. Enter Blake Griffin to right the ship that has had a hole in it for the last 25 years. Say a prayer, if not for the Clippers at least for Griffin’s sake.
Al Davis- You can’t be serious Al.
Darrius Heyward-Bey was supposed to be a top ten receiver in the draft, not a top ten draft pick. Instead Al used the seventh pick in the draft to pick an unproven and unpolished wide out that will almost certainly not contribute immediately. Here is yet another example of Davis’ obsession with speed and 40 times. There are rumors around Oakland that Al is in negotiations with Mine That Bird to join his receiving corps. When a man makes twenty one playoff appearances and wins three titles, how could you possibly bad mouth him? Well, Al just makes it all too easy. He’s older than dirt and the game has simply evolved and passed him by like Al Pacino in “Any Given Sunday” X 1000. His ego is threw the roof, which results in firing coach after coach before they can even get to know their players. I must say though. Kudos on the Lane Kiffin situation. Not only did you hire one of the worst coaches I’ve ever seen in the NFL (remember Kiffin giving the call for Sebastian Janikowski to attempt a 76 yard field goal, LOL), you took half the season deciding whether he was fired through press conference. It’s time to shut it down Al. You don’t belong in a press box calling the shots. You belong in a retirement home.
Tom Hicks- Alex Rodriguez was once a young, fun loving, steroid using (errr, I mean naïve) ballplayer. He had good reason to be. Tom Hicks paid him 252 million dollars for being able to swing a bat. Among his other smiling teammates were Chan Ho Park and Rusty Greer, guys that could buy a G-5 with all the undeserving cash Hicks threw their way a few short years ago. While most of the overpaid players faded into oblivion, A-Wad can’t hide anywhere. Neither can Hicks for paying him all that money and then trading him for virtually nothing. While the Rangers are finally performing this season, they will inevitably melt down most likely due to their perennial lack of pitching. Texas hasn’t made the playoffs in nine seasons and if history serves, they won’t this year. However, by some stroke of luck, Hicks has assembled a solid contingent of young players.
Honorable Mentions: John Henry (Red Sox Owner), Stuart Sternberg (Rays Owner)
Dishonorable Mentions: James Dolan (Knicks Owner), Michael Jordan (Bobcats Owner), Peter Angelos (Orioles Owner)
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Titletown USA- O vs. LA
As the Finals get to set to tip off tomorrow, I can make one sure bet. The Magic will win the tip. After that, it’s going to be a little tougher to predict. I heard on ESPN about 400 times this week that the Magic beat the Lakers BOTH times this regular season. Wow, that means so much! Everybody knows that the NBA is a playoff oriented league and that the regular season means about as much as a Ryan Seacrest Twitter. If you don’t believe me, ask the 1994 Sonics, the 2006 Mavericks, or anyone that follows Ryan Seacrest on Twitter. Luckily for you, I am here to break down the matchups and shed some light on what to expect in the 2009 NBA Finals.
Bigs- Magic > Lakers
Obvious pick here, Dwight Howard is the best center in the NBA. Team him with Rashard Lewis and Hedo Turkoglu, if you can even call those guys bigs, and the Magic have a formidable frontcourt. Sure, they’re not going to pound you inside but they’re threes go down nice like aloe on a summer burn. Andrew Bynum, Pau Gasol, and Lamar Odom are a great trio down low, but their collective strength will be negated as they will constantly be scrambling to try and match up with the Magic’s unusual crew of bigs.
Guards- Lakers > Magic
Kobe does work. Spike Lee knows it. I know it. He is the best player in the series and he is the best finisher in the NBA. When Orlando is down, Kobe is going to break their neck. To add to that, Derek Fisher has played in about 13 NBA Finals and should know his way around the big stage. Courtney Lee and Rafer Alston are relative no names, especially in pressure situations like the NBA Finals. Even if Jameer Nelson comes back, the Lakers still have the edge in guard play. Luke Walton and Jordan Farmar are serviceable backups and the more people hate Sasha Vujacic, the more likely he is to make a big shot. On such a big stage, I expect Vujacic to make at least a few dagger threes.
Coaching- Lakers > Magic
For some reason, Stan Van Gundy gets a microphone in the huddle every game. Does he ever say anything of value? All I ever hear is this little hobbit screaming uncontrollably either at the refs or about how he’ll never be as good a coach as Jeff. I have to give it to him though. He did a great job in outcoaching Mike Brown, who seemed to think it was a good idea to never change his offensive schemes (aka perhaps run a play) or contest wide open threes (good call Mike, Varejao can definitely guard Rashard Lewis). All that said, I’m taking the Zen Master Phil Jackson all the way in this matchup. No resume or interview needed. Just check the man’s references.
Experience- Lakers > Magic
Coming to the Finals and getting exposed the year before shouldn’t really count as experience. But, considering most of the Magic have never even smelled the delicious aroma of the Finals, I expect the Lakers to capitalize. The Black Mamba himself, as people are trying to nickname Kobe, admitted the locker room was much more subdued and focused after advancing to the Finals for the second straight year. Yet, I have two bones to pick with the Black Mamba. First off, it’s way too late in Kobe’s career for people to start calling him “the Black Mamba.” He’s been in the league for 13 seasons. It’s like me waking up tomorrow and starting to call Steve Nash, “The Flash.” It just doesn’t work like that. Secondly, it’s okay to be excited when you advance to the NBA Finals. Just a thought Kobe.
Star Power- Magic > Lakers
I’m not talking Dwight or Kobe. I’m talking who’s sitting in the stands. The Lakers get all the A-List celebrities, from Denzel to Jack Nicholson to Tobey Maguire. The Magic, on the other hand, seem to draw big time athletes such as Tiger or D-Wade. Personally, I could care less if Spiderman, who looks nerdier by the year, is in attendance. I’m giving the Magic the edge because Orlando is a far more hostile environment and L.A. fans get way to much credit for being very average fans.
Team Candy Intake- Lakers > Magic
Now, I don't know too much about Orlando's candy eaters, but Chad Ford has reported that they have loads of potential, but are a bit of a project. On the other hand, Lamar Odom is a one man sugar wrecking crew. It’s sad to think that the only thing holding back the Lakers from a championship is Odom’s on again-off again relationship with sweets. For now, just keep feeding the man his Snickers and Honey Buns and then in the offseason wean him off the sugar. Call up Flo Rida too. I heard his lips like sugar.
Jameer Nelson’s Potential Impact- Lakers > Magic
Bringing back Jameer Nelson at this point would be a catastrophic mistake for the Magic. Their team chemistry has been awesome up to this point in the playoffs. They have created plenty of matchup problems and Rafer Alston has finally shed his “Skip to My Lou” persona and turned in to a credible NBA point guard. However, Rafer does have an interesting psyche still and would be visibly shook up if Nelson came back in to the limelight. It would create drama in the locker room, something Van Gundy would probably not be prepared to handle considering his only real skill appears to be yelling. Oh, but did you hear Nelson averaged 27 a game versus the Lakers in their 2 regular season wins? The bottom line is Nelson will be a far different player from his midseason form and will hamper the Magic rather than help them.
Bottom Line- Lakers in 6
Kobe is ready to win another title and should be able to will his way to victory. He’ll sit back early and let the game to come, a perfect plan for a star with a great supporting cast. Gasol and Bynum should provide a far better tag team on Howard than Ilgauskus and Varejao, while Odom can handle Rashard Lewis on defense. If Odom doesn’t eat too many gummy bears pregame, he should be able to punish Lewis underneath, as Lewis plays like he’s 5’9 trapped in a 6’10 body. Hedo Turkoglu will face a formidable matchup in the long and quick Trevor Ariza. All in all, the Magic will undoubtedly steal a game or two, but the Lakers are a superior team with a superior star. “The Black Mamba” will return to glory. My only final hope is that he gives a Kevin Garnett-esque freak out after winning the title.
Bigs- Magic > Lakers
Obvious pick here, Dwight Howard is the best center in the NBA. Team him with Rashard Lewis and Hedo Turkoglu, if you can even call those guys bigs, and the Magic have a formidable frontcourt. Sure, they’re not going to pound you inside but they’re threes go down nice like aloe on a summer burn. Andrew Bynum, Pau Gasol, and Lamar Odom are a great trio down low, but their collective strength will be negated as they will constantly be scrambling to try and match up with the Magic’s unusual crew of bigs.
Guards- Lakers > Magic
Kobe does work. Spike Lee knows it. I know it. He is the best player in the series and he is the best finisher in the NBA. When Orlando is down, Kobe is going to break their neck. To add to that, Derek Fisher has played in about 13 NBA Finals and should know his way around the big stage. Courtney Lee and Rafer Alston are relative no names, especially in pressure situations like the NBA Finals. Even if Jameer Nelson comes back, the Lakers still have the edge in guard play. Luke Walton and Jordan Farmar are serviceable backups and the more people hate Sasha Vujacic, the more likely he is to make a big shot. On such a big stage, I expect Vujacic to make at least a few dagger threes.Coaching- Lakers > Magic
For some reason, Stan Van Gundy gets a microphone in the huddle every game. Does he ever say anything of value? All I ever hear is this little hobbit screaming uncontrollably either at the refs or about how he’ll never be as good a coach as Jeff. I have to give it to him though. He did a great job in outcoaching Mike Brown, who seemed to think it was a good idea to never change his offensive schemes (aka perhaps run a play) or contest wide open threes (good call Mike, Varejao can definitely guard Rashard Lewis). All that said, I’m taking the Zen Master Phil Jackson all the way in this matchup. No resume or interview needed. Just check the man’s references.
Experience- Lakers > Magic
Coming to the Finals and getting exposed the year before shouldn’t really count as experience. But, considering most of the Magic have never even smelled the delicious aroma of the Finals, I expect the Lakers to capitalize. The Black Mamba himself, as people are trying to nickname Kobe, admitted the locker room was much more subdued and focused after advancing to the Finals for the second straight year. Yet, I have two bones to pick with the Black Mamba. First off, it’s way too late in Kobe’s career for people to start calling him “the Black Mamba.” He’s been in the league for 13 seasons. It’s like me waking up tomorrow and starting to call Steve Nash, “The Flash.” It just doesn’t work like that. Secondly, it’s okay to be excited when you advance to the NBA Finals. Just a thought Kobe.
Star Power- Magic > Lakers
I’m not talking Dwight or Kobe. I’m talking who’s sitting in the stands. The Lakers get all the A-List celebrities, from Denzel to Jack Nicholson to Tobey Maguire. The Magic, on the other hand, seem to draw big time athletes such as Tiger or D-Wade. Personally, I could care less if Spiderman, who looks nerdier by the year, is in attendance. I’m giving the Magic the edge because Orlando is a far more hostile environment and L.A. fans get way to much credit for being very average fans.
Team Candy Intake- Lakers > Magic
Now, I don't know too much about Orlando's candy eaters, but Chad Ford has reported that they have loads of potential, but are a bit of a project. On the other hand, Lamar Odom is a one man sugar wrecking crew. It’s sad to think that the only thing holding back the Lakers from a championship is Odom’s on again-off again relationship with sweets. For now, just keep feeding the man his Snickers and Honey Buns and then in the offseason wean him off the sugar. Call up Flo Rida too. I heard his lips like sugar.
Jameer Nelson’s Potential Impact- Lakers > Magic
Bringing back Jameer Nelson at this point would be a catastrophic mistake for the Magic. Their team chemistry has been awesome up to this point in the playoffs. They have created plenty of matchup problems and Rafer Alston has finally shed his “Skip to My Lou” persona and turned in to a credible NBA point guard. However, Rafer does have an interesting psyche still and would be visibly shook up if Nelson came back in to the limelight. It would create drama in the locker room, something Van Gundy would probably not be prepared to handle considering his only real skill appears to be yelling. Oh, but did you hear Nelson averaged 27 a game versus the Lakers in their 2 regular season wins? The bottom line is Nelson will be a far different player from his midseason form and will hamper the Magic rather than help them.
Bottom Line- Lakers in 6
Kobe is ready to win another title and should be able to will his way to victory. He’ll sit back early and let the game to come, a perfect plan for a star with a great supporting cast. Gasol and Bynum should provide a far better tag team on Howard than Ilgauskus and Varejao, while Odom can handle Rashard Lewis on defense. If Odom doesn’t eat too many gummy bears pregame, he should be able to punish Lewis underneath, as Lewis plays like he’s 5’9 trapped in a 6’10 body. Hedo Turkoglu will face a formidable matchup in the long and quick Trevor Ariza. All in all, the Magic will undoubtedly steal a game or two, but the Lakers are a superior team with a superior star. “The Black Mamba” will return to glory. My only final hope is that he gives a Kevin Garnett-esque freak out after winning the title.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
It's the Final[s] Countdown!
It’s about the time. The Eastern and Western Conference Finals have hit full swing. So it’s a perfect time for me to put in my two cents and pick the winners. It’s only fair.
So far, My series predictions so far have amounted to a 10-2 record. TOUGH.
Cleveland vs. Orlando- The first three games have been interesting. Cleveland show why nobody comes into Quicken Loans Arena and wins. The only problem is that the “Q” was only rocking for about 48 out of a total 96 minutes. The Cavs took huge leads into the second half only to lose Game 1 and then win Game 2 on a shot that I see regularly in my sleep now. After their heroic win in Game 2, America figured that Cleveland would snap back into their regular season form and take Game 3 in Orlando. The Cavaliers came out flat and were hammered from all angles by a barrage of three pointers. Dwight Howard was limited due to foul trouble and the Magic still smacked them upside the head. Now, as Cleveland sits in a 2-1 hole in Orlando, I still haven’t hit the panic button. That’s way too Jodie Foster for me.
King James, whose point totals have been 49, 35, and 41 in the first three games, is going to need just a little bit of help to get this series done.
Mo Williams has played well, but Delonte West thought he was LBJ in Game 3, continuously trying to go 1 on 1 against bigger defenders. Throw in Big Z and his hands of stone, Varejao’s inability to hit a foul line jumper while essentially unguarded, and Sasha Pavlovic’s award as the “Least Improved Player in the NBA” and the Cavs may actually be in trouble. However, I trust King James about as much as King Henry’s wives thought they could bring him an heir to the throne. They all ended up dead. Fortunately for me, picking Lebron in the Eastern Conference Finals shouldn’t leave me with no head. I hope. Either way, Cleveland in 7.
Los Angeles vs. Denver- I just saw Chauncey Billups’ Twitter. It says 6 more. Not only is the man an excellent mathematician, he understands he has to win 6 more games to win the NBA Finals. Unfortunately, his math hasn’t been so good for the last seven years in which he made the Conference Finals every year. Except for once, he has stopped roughly four wins short of his ultimate goal. All this aside, the series is knotted as 2-2 as the scene shifts back to Hollywood. Expect Denver to “steal” Game 5 in Los Angeles. I put “steal” in quotes because most people consider it a steal. At this point, I’m sold that Denver is a better team this postseason than L.A. Kobe is, as always, doing work. His recent work has been about 40 times more exciting than Spike Lee’s dragging documentary, especially Game 3 where Kobe took the Lakers on their back in the final two minutes. That performance went under the radar as most people were still unable to think straight following Lebron’s game winner in Cleveland.
Kobe may be playing stellar basketball, but so are the Nuggets. Take out a poor inbounds throw by thug power forward Kenyon Martin (I didn’t say it, Mark Cuban did) and the Nuggets could have been up 2-0 heading to the Not Coke Center.
JR Smith has been making plays for the Nuggs, albeit when he misses its ugly. Carmelo Anthony has been playing like a bona fide superstar and has been too much for Trevor Ariza or overmatched Luke Walton to handle. Chauncey Billups has been probably the most consistent player of the series, as he has managed to take time away from Twitter to be the consummate professional for Denver. While I could do without the announcers continuously applauding the defensive mindset he has brought to Denver, I respect Billups’ production and expect him to be the deciding factor in the series. And oh yeah, as if we didn’t talk about this last year, the playoffs are once again proving just how soft Pau Gasol is. Denver in 6.
So far, My series predictions so far have amounted to a 10-2 record. TOUGH.
Cleveland vs. Orlando- The first three games have been interesting. Cleveland show why nobody comes into Quicken Loans Arena and wins. The only problem is that the “Q” was only rocking for about 48 out of a total 96 minutes. The Cavs took huge leads into the second half only to lose Game 1 and then win Game 2 on a shot that I see regularly in my sleep now. After their heroic win in Game 2, America figured that Cleveland would snap back into their regular season form and take Game 3 in Orlando. The Cavaliers came out flat and were hammered from all angles by a barrage of three pointers. Dwight Howard was limited due to foul trouble and the Magic still smacked them upside the head. Now, as Cleveland sits in a 2-1 hole in Orlando, I still haven’t hit the panic button. That’s way too Jodie Foster for me.
King James, whose point totals have been 49, 35, and 41 in the first three games, is going to need just a little bit of help to get this series done.
Mo Williams has played well, but Delonte West thought he was LBJ in Game 3, continuously trying to go 1 on 1 against bigger defenders. Throw in Big Z and his hands of stone, Varejao’s inability to hit a foul line jumper while essentially unguarded, and Sasha Pavlovic’s award as the “Least Improved Player in the NBA” and the Cavs may actually be in trouble. However, I trust King James about as much as King Henry’s wives thought they could bring him an heir to the throne. They all ended up dead. Fortunately for me, picking Lebron in the Eastern Conference Finals shouldn’t leave me with no head. I hope. Either way, Cleveland in 7.
Los Angeles vs. Denver- I just saw Chauncey Billups’ Twitter. It says 6 more. Not only is the man an excellent mathematician, he understands he has to win 6 more games to win the NBA Finals. Unfortunately, his math hasn’t been so good for the last seven years in which he made the Conference Finals every year. Except for once, he has stopped roughly four wins short of his ultimate goal. All this aside, the series is knotted as 2-2 as the scene shifts back to Hollywood. Expect Denver to “steal” Game 5 in Los Angeles. I put “steal” in quotes because most people consider it a steal. At this point, I’m sold that Denver is a better team this postseason than L.A. Kobe is, as always, doing work. His recent work has been about 40 times more exciting than Spike Lee’s dragging documentary, especially Game 3 where Kobe took the Lakers on their back in the final two minutes. That performance went under the radar as most people were still unable to think straight following Lebron’s game winner in Cleveland.
Kobe may be playing stellar basketball, but so are the Nuggets. Take out a poor inbounds throw by thug power forward Kenyon Martin (I didn’t say it, Mark Cuban did) and the Nuggets could have been up 2-0 heading to the Not Coke Center.
JR Smith has been making plays for the Nuggs, albeit when he misses its ugly. Carmelo Anthony has been playing like a bona fide superstar and has been too much for Trevor Ariza or overmatched Luke Walton to handle. Chauncey Billups has been probably the most consistent player of the series, as he has managed to take time away from Twitter to be the consummate professional for Denver. While I could do without the announcers continuously applauding the defensive mindset he has brought to Denver, I respect Billups’ production and expect him to be the deciding factor in the series. And oh yeah, as if we didn’t talk about this last year, the playoffs are once again proving just how soft Pau Gasol is. Denver in 6.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Happy Memorial Day!
I'm out celebrating America. And its Memorials. And America. More Bach Talk coming soon...I'm just kind of like Brett Favre. I like making the people think I'm done and then annoying my way back into their lives.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Predicting Round 2 for You
So, the Rockets gave me the business. Leave it to Houston to finally get out of the first round when their best player is out for the season. Portland was just too young and unprepared for the playoff atmosphere. Next year, the new look Trail Blazers will be a force to be reckoned with in the West. All that said, I was 7 of 8 for the first round of the NBA playoffs, which not only makes me awesome, but credible. So, here goes my quick analysis of the round 2 matchups. I’ll post my Conference championship predictions in mid July, considering a seven game series in the NBA takes approximately 35 days.
Western Conference
Los Angeles vs. Houston- The only way the Rockets are winning this one is if The Dream, Sir Charles, and Kenny the Jet come out and play…in their prime. Or, maybe if those pesky little aliens from Moron Mountain steal the Lakers talent like in "Space Jam." Other than that, it’s a wrap. Kobe and Co. will be way too much for the Rockets. We can’t forget. According to my housemate, the Lakers are a top five team all time this season. Lakers in 5.
Denver vs. Dallas- A wise man once told me that the Denver athleticism presents scary matchup problems for the Mavericks, but…they still got J.J. Barea. It is true that Denver’s collection of wing players, including Carmelo Anthony and occasional scoring machine J.R. Smith will give Dallas defenders fits in this series. However, I have to go with the Mavericks here. Yeah, I’m biased. Sure, I already saw them choke in the 4th quarter of Game 1. I think I like the idea of the Mavs winning more than I actually like them winning. Regardless, in Dirk I trust. I’m saying Dallas in 7.
Eastern Conference
Cleveland vs. Atlanta- Lebron James is not the only the MVP of the NBA. He’s the MVP of my life. He’s more valuable in my life than I am. Is that even possible? I just love Lebron because I know what I’m going to get from him every night. That’s a top ten play while I’m eating Raisin Bran prepping myself to kill the upcoming day. Speaking of killing, LJ-23 is going to straight murk the Hawks and help lead the Cavs into the Eastern conference final. Considering Cleveland doesn’t lose at Quicken Loans Arena, I’m saying Cavs in five. Atlanta should be able to steal one win at home, if Joe Johnson keeps playing the way he is. On another note, please YouTube “Hastily Made Cleveland tourism video.” It’s the most entertaining/degrading thing out of Cleveland since Jordan over Ehlo.
Boston vs. Orlando- I said it last week and I’ll say it again. The Subway five dollar foot long is an extremely overvalued sandwich, as the meat to price ratio is far too low. It’s roughly 1 slice of meat for every dollar I pay. I’m going to need that to improve to at least 2.5:1 before they win my love back. On a more basketball related note, I predicted that Boston would need seven to get past the up and coming Bulls. With Dwight Howard coming into Beantown, don’t expect to get so lucky again. I think that this is the most intriguing series of the second round of action. Without Kevin Garnett, Dwight Howard should be too much inside, assuming Rashard Lewis can help counteract the shooting of Paul Pierce and Ray Allen. As long as Big Baby keeps trying to score, Orlando is fine. I’m saying Magic in 6.
Western Conference
Los Angeles vs. Houston- The only way the Rockets are winning this one is if The Dream, Sir Charles, and Kenny the Jet come out and play…in their prime. Or, maybe if those pesky little aliens from Moron Mountain steal the Lakers talent like in "Space Jam." Other than that, it’s a wrap. Kobe and Co. will be way too much for the Rockets. We can’t forget. According to my housemate, the Lakers are a top five team all time this season. Lakers in 5.
Denver vs. Dallas- A wise man once told me that the Denver athleticism presents scary matchup problems for the Mavericks, but…they still got J.J. Barea. It is true that Denver’s collection of wing players, including Carmelo Anthony and occasional scoring machine J.R. Smith will give Dallas defenders fits in this series. However, I have to go with the Mavericks here. Yeah, I’m biased. Sure, I already saw them choke in the 4th quarter of Game 1. I think I like the idea of the Mavs winning more than I actually like them winning. Regardless, in Dirk I trust. I’m saying Dallas in 7.
Eastern Conference
Cleveland vs. Atlanta- Lebron James is not the only the MVP of the NBA. He’s the MVP of my life. He’s more valuable in my life than I am. Is that even possible? I just love Lebron because I know what I’m going to get from him every night. That’s a top ten play while I’m eating Raisin Bran prepping myself to kill the upcoming day. Speaking of killing, LJ-23 is going to straight murk the Hawks and help lead the Cavs into the Eastern conference final. Considering Cleveland doesn’t lose at Quicken Loans Arena, I’m saying Cavs in five. Atlanta should be able to steal one win at home, if Joe Johnson keeps playing the way he is. On another note, please YouTube “Hastily Made Cleveland tourism video.” It’s the most entertaining/degrading thing out of Cleveland since Jordan over Ehlo.
Boston vs. Orlando- I said it last week and I’ll say it again. The Subway five dollar foot long is an extremely overvalued sandwich, as the meat to price ratio is far too low. It’s roughly 1 slice of meat for every dollar I pay. I’m going to need that to improve to at least 2.5:1 before they win my love back. On a more basketball related note, I predicted that Boston would need seven to get past the up and coming Bulls. With Dwight Howard coming into Beantown, don’t expect to get so lucky again. I think that this is the most intriguing series of the second round of action. Without Kevin Garnett, Dwight Howard should be too much inside, assuming Rashard Lewis can help counteract the shooting of Paul Pierce and Ray Allen. As long as Big Baby keeps trying to score, Orlando is fine. I’m saying Magic in 6.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Post-Postseason Prediction
There’s nothing like breaking down playoff matchups once the series has already started. It makes it a little bit easier and makes me look a little bit more credible. I don’t mind it at all. So sue me.
Eastern Conference
Cleveland vs. Detroit- I’m not even going to waste my finger strength typing much about this one. King James is in his standard, yet unbelievable form. Detroit won’t even win one at home, leaving Cleveland with plenty of time to rest their legs for round 2.
Boston vs. Chicago- This is my upset special. And by upset special, I mean I
still am going to pick to Boston. But, I’m going to be UPSET to see Chicago lose in 7 games. Not as upset at this guy though ---->. I think they will split the next two at home behind the spirited play of guard sensations Derrick Rose and Ben Gordon, but Boston will be able to hold serve at home. This series is raising serious warning flags about Boston though; the loss of Leon Powe is an unheralded blow to their already barren front line. To add to that, Big Baby Glen Davis thinks he can shoot for some reason and Rondo’s potentially bum ankle means more time for Starbury (uh, oh is right). Without the Big Ticket, they’re just a Big pretender that is going to be punching their ticket home next round.
Orlando vs. Philadelphia- The Sixers absolutely stole Game 1 from Orlando after being down nearly twenty in the second half. Iggy’s game winner summed up the improbable comeback. Word out of O-Town, no not the dismembered boy band, is that tension is brewing in the locker room. Van Gundy has gotten heat from the players, but I still say the Magic take this series easily. Dwight Howard is too much man for Samuel Dalembert to handle inside. Orlando in 6.
Miami vs. Atlanta- MVP candidate Dwayne Wade has done all he can, but this is the end of the road this season. Atlanta’s dream (gotta love the WNBA allusion) of making the NBA Finals will remain intact for another round. The 26 point Thrashing (gotta love that NHL reference) bodes well for Atlanta. Joe Johnson, who is still one of the most underrated players for some reason, should lead one of the most athletic teams in the league through the South beach smokers.
Western Conference
Los Angeles vs. Utah- It pains me to pick against the Jazz, because I was once the self proclaimed biggest Jazz fan in Utah that wasn’t a Mormon. While I may not be in second grade anymore, I do still rep the Jazz hard. The only problem is they are just not repping me this postseason. Outside of Cleveland, there is no one better at home than Utah. Fact. One of my roommates called the Lakers one of the best teams ever. Huh? Does that make Cleveland the best team ever? To add to that, apparently they have four All-Stars. When questioned further, he immediately backed down and admitted that the four All-Stars are just “caliber of All-Stars.” Either way, the Lakers win in 5 because the Jazz aren’t the same without Okur.
Denver vs. New Orleans- New Orleans went from
the number 1 seed in the West in arguably the most dominant conference ever last season. Two nights ago, they were beat by 30 by a team that is not exactly known for stellar defense. Maybe it was the thinner air that was causing all their shots to clank off the rim. Chris Paul is hands down the best point guard, but without teammates cleaning up on his dishes, he might need to invest in some new hired help. Denver and the Birdman in 5.
San Antonio vs. Dallas- Tim Duncan’s knees are creakier than a horror movie door. Manu is relegated to watching and growing throat beards. So, naturally, Tony Parker went off and slashed the Mavs back to reality. The battle for Texas supremacy should be a long and interesting series. Much like my Jazz allegiances, I hold a soft spot in my heart for the Mavericks. Regardless, I do feel that the Mavs are going to escape this series in 7 games. Now that superstar center Erick Dampier has lit a fire under everyone’s ass, the Mavs have no choice except put up or shut up. Dallas as a city deserves this, for not only having to put up with Dampier’s huge contract but also the god awful Jason Kidd-Devin Harris fiasco that has handicapped the Mavs back from being truly elite.
Portland vs. Houston- My heart keeps telling me no, but my body keeps telling me yes. So, I’m just going to type it down and pick the revamped Trail Blazers to take this intriguing matchup. Game 1, the Rose Garden crowd was rocking harder than a Metallica concert pregame. However, the Blazers flat play left their dedicated and excited fans more pissed than as if they had just witnessed a Jonas Brothers/Miley Cyrus concert. Fortunately for Portland, Brandon Roy was able to right the ship in Game 2 as he gave the Rockets 42 hot ones. His performance, teamed with the surprisingly big loss of Dikembe Mutombo, leads me to believe that the Trail will be Blazed to the second round. You just can’t pick Houston in the first round. Tracy McGrady shouldn’t be allowed to sit on the bench if they plan on winning this series.
Eastern Conference
Cleveland vs. Detroit- I’m not even going to waste my finger strength typing much about this one. King James is in his standard, yet unbelievable form. Detroit won’t even win one at home, leaving Cleveland with plenty of time to rest their legs for round 2.
Boston vs. Chicago- This is my upset special. And by upset special, I mean I
still am going to pick to Boston. But, I’m going to be UPSET to see Chicago lose in 7 games. Not as upset at this guy though ---->. I think they will split the next two at home behind the spirited play of guard sensations Derrick Rose and Ben Gordon, but Boston will be able to hold serve at home. This series is raising serious warning flags about Boston though; the loss of Leon Powe is an unheralded blow to their already barren front line. To add to that, Big Baby Glen Davis thinks he can shoot for some reason and Rondo’s potentially bum ankle means more time for Starbury (uh, oh is right). Without the Big Ticket, they’re just a Big pretender that is going to be punching their ticket home next round.Orlando vs. Philadelphia- The Sixers absolutely stole Game 1 from Orlando after being down nearly twenty in the second half. Iggy’s game winner summed up the improbable comeback. Word out of O-Town, no not the dismembered boy band, is that tension is brewing in the locker room. Van Gundy has gotten heat from the players, but I still say the Magic take this series easily. Dwight Howard is too much man for Samuel Dalembert to handle inside. Orlando in 6.
Miami vs. Atlanta- MVP candidate Dwayne Wade has done all he can, but this is the end of the road this season. Atlanta’s dream (gotta love the WNBA allusion) of making the NBA Finals will remain intact for another round. The 26 point Thrashing (gotta love that NHL reference) bodes well for Atlanta. Joe Johnson, who is still one of the most underrated players for some reason, should lead one of the most athletic teams in the league through the South beach smokers.
Western Conference
Los Angeles vs. Utah- It pains me to pick against the Jazz, because I was once the self proclaimed biggest Jazz fan in Utah that wasn’t a Mormon. While I may not be in second grade anymore, I do still rep the Jazz hard. The only problem is they are just not repping me this postseason. Outside of Cleveland, there is no one better at home than Utah. Fact. One of my roommates called the Lakers one of the best teams ever. Huh? Does that make Cleveland the best team ever? To add to that, apparently they have four All-Stars. When questioned further, he immediately backed down and admitted that the four All-Stars are just “caliber of All-Stars.” Either way, the Lakers win in 5 because the Jazz aren’t the same without Okur.
Denver vs. New Orleans- New Orleans went from
the number 1 seed in the West in arguably the most dominant conference ever last season. Two nights ago, they were beat by 30 by a team that is not exactly known for stellar defense. Maybe it was the thinner air that was causing all their shots to clank off the rim. Chris Paul is hands down the best point guard, but without teammates cleaning up on his dishes, he might need to invest in some new hired help. Denver and the Birdman in 5.
San Antonio vs. Dallas- Tim Duncan’s knees are creakier than a horror movie door. Manu is relegated to watching and growing throat beards. So, naturally, Tony Parker went off and slashed the Mavs back to reality. The battle for Texas supremacy should be a long and interesting series. Much like my Jazz allegiances, I hold a soft spot in my heart for the Mavericks. Regardless, I do feel that the Mavs are going to escape this series in 7 games. Now that superstar center Erick Dampier has lit a fire under everyone’s ass, the Mavs have no choice except put up or shut up. Dallas as a city deserves this, for not only having to put up with Dampier’s huge contract but also the god awful Jason Kidd-Devin Harris fiasco that has handicapped the Mavs back from being truly elite.
Portland vs. Houston- My heart keeps telling me no, but my body keeps telling me yes. So, I’m just going to type it down and pick the revamped Trail Blazers to take this intriguing matchup. Game 1, the Rose Garden crowd was rocking harder than a Metallica concert pregame. However, the Blazers flat play left their dedicated and excited fans more pissed than as if they had just witnessed a Jonas Brothers/Miley Cyrus concert. Fortunately for Portland, Brandon Roy was able to right the ship in Game 2 as he gave the Rockets 42 hot ones. His performance, teamed with the surprisingly big loss of Dikembe Mutombo, leads me to believe that the Trail will be Blazed to the second round. You just can’t pick Houston in the first round. Tracy McGrady shouldn’t be allowed to sit on the bench if they plan on winning this series.
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