Home Alone House On Market: Buyer Beware- Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern Known To Creepily Lurk

For me to ignore this story, just wouldn't be fair to the 8 year old version of myself. Kevin McCalister embodied everything I was about as a child. Candle lit microwavable macaroni and cheese dinners. Calling out his brother's ugly girlfriends. Only brushing his teeth with brushes approved by the American Dental Association, even if it meant he had to shoplift the good stuff (matter of principle). And, most importantly, fearlessly protecting his house from hardened criminals with ornaments, blow torches, and BB Guns. This, my friends, is what childhood is all about.

This past week, over 20 years after "Home Alone" took the world by storm, the house that helped make the movie such a success is hitting the delightfully soft housing market. Something tells me this house won't have any trouble selling. The Georgian home, which is located in Chicago suburb Winnetka, is hitting the market at a cool 2.4 million dollars. The Abenschien family, owners of the house since the film even went into production, were originally reluctant to allow director Chris Columbus into their home for 6 months of shooting. However, they should now enjoy the novelty that will help this house sell while others on the block sit unnoticed. The house is described in realty advertisements as "Classic residence offers timeless and inspiring family living."

Not quite the way I would have described it, but hey, I think the Abenschien's know best. However, a word of advice to prospective buyers of the house:

1) Never have pizza parties the night before leaving on vacation to Paris. They only end in anger and induce forgetfullness regarding your children.

2) Always be friendly to your bearded neighbor that despite a rough exterior are actually friendly, religious, and heroic where necessary

3) Keep your eyes and ears open for the Sticky/Wet Bandits at all times

4) Never watch Home Alone 3. That's just general advice to anyone. That movie sucked.